The Sexy Lie

It’s a perfume ad, no really.


Do these pictures make you feel good about yourself? They shouldn’t.  If you’re a woman you should be upset because they are objectifying your body into an object rather than an individual human being.  If you’re a man, you should be ashamed that people do this to women’s bodies.

Below, Caroline Heldman speaks at a Ted Talk to discuss the sexual objectification of women and why this is not empowering.  My favorite part of the video is when she asks that if sex sells, why aren’t the more ads, pictures, videos, etc of men treated as objects, as body parts, and sexualized?  The effect of this is we, I’m speaking of women, have lower self esteem, engage in more habitual body monitoring, lower political efficacy, female competition (so that’s where it comes from), lower GPA, and sexual dysfunction.  She goes on to explain these in more detail in the video.

This video is also awesome because she gives some great examples of how to enact change and what happens when we stop focusing entirely on our appearance and hone our intelligence, skills, and activities.


Comfy study outfits

When it’s cold outside, the last thing I want to do is leave my house and go to school, but since I’m in law school, I must.  Generally I spend 3-4 hours in the law library, sometimes more, sometimes less, but I always want to be comfortable.  Here are a few comfortable outfits that will keep you warm, cool, and still fashionable.

The first one mixes up a normal routine of jeans and adds a floral print.  I paired this with a simple tee and a sweater so you can adjust when the temperature in your library or office gets super cold or super hot.

The second outfit is a sweater dress.  Paired with some printed tights, it will keep you warm and classy.  Add a belt to give you some shape.  I love wearing my sweater dress with over the knee tights and boots.

The third is just a cute long sleeve tee or sweater and some black pants with black boots.  I would actually probably add an infinity scarf and maybe a head scarf for extra style points.

What’s your go to study outfit?

Comfy study outfits

Men’s Role in the Violence Against Women

With the gang rapes from New Delhi and Steubenville, Ohio, the issue of violence against women is at the forefront of the news.  For some people, the fact that so many women are raped, whether in India or the US, is surprising.  Not to me.  All it takes is walking down a popular street where you hear people cat calling you, making sexual comments, and shouting at you.  This is sexual harassment.  Somewhere along the line, these men (and yes they’re generally all from men) were encouraged either directly or by never having been disciplined.  Then it’s a wonder why the men who raped the high school girl in Ohio show no remorse for their actions and even bragged about it to others.    Then these seemingly small encounters turn into bigger things: sexual assault, abuse, and rape.

Here are a few statistics on sexual assault both globally and in the United States.

22 million women in the United States have been raped in their lifetime.

(National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey 2010)

Globally, at least one in three women and girls is beaten or sexually abused in her lifetime. (UN Commission on the Status of Women, 2/28/00)

Almost one-third of female homicide victims are killed by an intimate partner.

(FBI, Uniform Crime Reports 2001)

One out of every five American women have been the victims of an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime.

(The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey 2010)

Factoring in unreported rapes, about 6% of rapists will ever spend a day in jail. 15 out of 16 will walk free.

(Probability statistics based on US Department of Justice Statistics)

* is the main source for where I got these statistics.

This article does a much better job than I can of talking about how the problem of violence against women is not an Indian problem, and American problem, an African problem, but rather a global problem.  While it may look different for different cultures (honor killings, rape, spousal abuse, etc), it all has the same cause and effect.  We treat women like commodities and we do not do anything to teach our men how to be real men.

For another look at the effect of the way we interact with little boys and men, check out this Vlog which splits the responsibility between adults in our community, and media.  We have to stop showing men that the idea of a man is someone who is tough, gets lots of girls, knows how to fight, and makes more money than a woman.


What are your thoughts?  Why do you think men rape?  How can we stop it?  Do you think these high profile rapes will encourage change?

Warm, Warmer, Warmest

Not all of live in the same climate and even in the same city the temperature can range from a breezy 50 degrees to shuddering single digit temps.  Here are a few outfit ideas somewhat similar but vary depending on how cold it is.

Warm: A simple chunky sweater/jeans combo with the ever-popular parka.  Pair it with a pair of oxfords and wool socks and you’re good to go for moderate cold temperature.

Warmer: Layers, layers, layers.  I love pairing a collared shirt with a sweater and then for extra body heat add a vest.  Wear some combat boots and you’re good to go.

Warmest: Turtlenecks are awesome for winter.  I would probably add an extra tee underneath the turtleneck for extra warmth.  You could also add some long underwear (so sexy right?) to keep in your body heat.  I added some duck boots for water resistance and warmth.

What are your winter plans?  What will you be wearing?

Warm, Warmer, Warmest

What to wear to a holiday party

I’m back!!  Hope you guys missed me!  I just finished my law school finals so now I have a month to do nothing but update my blog.  As I was out last night I saw a ton of people dressed up for holiday parties.  I saw ugly sweaters, warm sweater dresses, and sparkles, sparkles, sparkles.  What would the holiday season be without sparkles?  The three dresses below are for more of a semi formal occasion.

1. I love that this dress has just a little bit of sparkle up top.  It’s shapeless so you would need to add a belt, but it’s also a great way to be able to switch it up by adding a different belt.  The same thing with the shoes, you could wear black, nude, or sparkles.  This is definitely a timeless dress that will be sure you get you compliments.

2. You can’t go wrong with a red dress which is always a great choice for the holidays.  A study from the University of Rochester (My alma mater) indicate men actually find women in red more attractive (wink wink).  Red also looks good on almost anyone.  I like the peplum because it definitely makes it a little more interesting than just a  generic red sheath dress.

3. Finally we get to my favorite.  If I didn’t have a dress really similar to this one, I would’ve owned this 5 mins ago.   Lace is classy, sexy, timeless and I love the extra peplum waist.

Which one would you chose?

What to wear to a holiday party

How to wear Green, Blue, and Yellow together

The biggest challenge I have in my wardrobe is deciding what colors I can wear together.  Most of the time I see someone else wearing colors together and get inspired or sometimes I will experiment.  I know others probably have the same problem so I want to focus a few posts to show some cool color combos that have inspired me.  College Fashion, one of my favorite blogs, has a great post on finding good color combos based on the color wheel…the scientific way if you will.  They also have a variety of posts on different color schemes and how to wear different color styles (monochrome, complimentary, opposites).


What is your favorite color combo to wear?

Green, Blue, and Yellow

Dress for Sucess Fall 2012

As I mentioned before, I just recently started law school and it has gotten me thinking about building a professional wardrobe. I have a few other blog posts about professional outfits, but today I want to talk about fall 2012 professonional trends. Professional dressing definitely depends on your office environment. As an attorney I will probably live in suits, most of which will be probably very conservative and slightly boring. I imagine some days though I’ll get to have a little more fun. That may not be the case for you though, so here are a few really fantastic outfits for Fall 2012.

1.) The first outfit is representative of the menswear trend which seems to be popular for Fall 2012. What I love about it is you get to experiment with a different time period and style.  It reminds me of a classic newspaper reporter.  For this look, go for clean lines and classic colors: black, charcoal gray, and brown.
2.) The second outfit is a fitted cap sleeve dress.  Every woman should own one of these.  It flatters all body shapes and you look put together without worrying what color shirt goes with your pants goes with your shoes goes with your bag, etc.  Throw on this dress, some classic black heels, and simple jewelry.  You can also add a blazer, cardigan, or statement jewelry to mix it up.

3.) Cropped pants are super popular this fall and I think we’ll continue to see it throughout the spring 2013 as well.  This is for a more fun office atmosphere.  You can also take the same elements of this outfit; the cropped pants and bright jewelry and make it a little more conservative.  Because the pants are short they are a great opportunity to show off your killer new heels.
4.) This fourth outfit includes a few trends; polka dots, color blocking, capped toe, and a pussy bow blouse.  The point of this outfit was to showcase the pussy bow blouse.  You can get these in all colors and styles, but they are perfect under a blazer, sweater, or on their own and they add some diversity to the simple button down blouse.

5.) The pencil skirt is a classic piece that belongs in every woman’s closet.  I chose this pencil skirt because it’s patterned, yet still classic and versatile.  It’s all black for those conservative offices, but it makes a  statement and keeps your clothing fashion forward.  If you want just one or two things to switch up your wardrobe, this is a great idea.

6.) Peplum is taking over!  You can get peplum tops, peplum dresses, and even puplum skirts.  Take your pick.  I have a few peplum tops and a peplum dress.  I paired this with a classic black pencil skirt as a way to use pieces you probably already have.
How do you switch up your office clothing?  Any favorite pieces you have gotten for  Fall 2012?

Dress for Sucess Fall 2012
Dress for Success

Who speaks for women?

Let’s talk about politics for a second.  The statistics are startling for women leadership in politics. Women represent half the residents of the United States, yet we don’t even come close to the same representation as men.

There are 6 woman governors, out of 50 (CAWP).  Women hold 90, or 16.8%, of the 535 seats in the 112th US Congress ; 17, or 17.0%, of the 100 seats in the Senate and 73, or 16.8%, of the 435 seats in the House of Representatives. In addition, three women serve as Delegates to the House from Guam, the Virgin Islands and Washington, DC (Stats here).

There are volumes of books dedicated to why this is true so I won’t get into it.  What I do want to discuss is what we can do about it.  It’s an interesting time in politics because women’s issue are at the forefront of the presidential campaign: health insurance, access to women’s health, birth control, abortion, rape, and the  fundamental question who gets control over a woman’s body yet we lack seeing women discussing these issues.  Not only had I thought we had finished this debate, but I thought more women would step up.

I’ll always remember learning about Abigail Adam’s letter to John Quincy Adams telling him to not ‘remember the ladies’.  In her letter, she writes, “do not put such unlimited power into the hands of the husbands. Remember, all men would be tyrants if they could. If particular care and attention is not paid to the ladies, we are determined to foment a rebellion, and will not hold ourselves bound by any laws in which we have no voice or representation.”

How do we remember the ladies now?  One way we can do this is by increasing women leadership so we have someone to speak for us in a more broader scale.  This isn’t to say women speak with one voice; women can come from a variety of backgrounds and experiences that shape their opinions.  However, we can elect people and showcase women who represent the idea that a woman should chose.

Look at the Democrat and Republican National Convention.

Sixteen women spoke at the Republican National Convention the first day compared to twenty eight at the Democratic National Convention.  Less than five women spoke on the second day of the RNC compared to twenty one for the second day of the DNC (Miss Representation).  The DNC doubled the amount of speakers in two days.  Which party is more favorable to women?  Democrats.

This isn’t a political issue persay, but it is clear that one party has done more for women.  What are you looking for in a candidate?  Do women issues persuade you towards one party?

For a full list of women in state executive offices, see the statistics at Center For American Women and Politics

For more information about women at the DNC and RNC, visit the Miss Representation website. 

Fashion’s Night Out San Francisco 2012

On Setpember 6, clothing stores all over the country will be participating in Fashion’s Night Out.  I have never participated in any of the events, but this year I plan on partaking in the activities!  The idea behind Fashion’s Night Out is to “celebrate fashion, restore consumer confidence, boost the industry’s economy during the recession, and put the fun back in shopping.”  It began in 2009 and has grown worldwide ever since.

Here is a sample of the events in San Francisco at the Westfield Shopping Mall.  You will find me at Madewell and Forever21!  Will I see you there too?

adidas Level 2

Receive a free originals “blue book” and see the latest sport and style collections for fall.


Book an exclusive styling appointment and enjoy strawberry refreshments.

Caché Level 2

Come in during FNO to receive a special offer.

ECCO Level 2

Receive a free gift with purchase.

GUESS Level 2

GUESS customers receive a $20 shopping card with any $100 GUESS List purchase.

GUESS by Marciano Level 2

M Loyalty members receive a free jewelry travel case and a $20 shopping card with a purchase of $125 or more.

Francesca’s Collection Level 2

Browse the fall line collection, enjoy bites, sweet treats and sparkling refreshments. Show your VIP event ticket to receive special perks.

Juicy Couture Level 1

Enjoy small bites and DJ entertainment.

kate spade new york Level 1

Enjoy sparkling lemonade, sweet treats and special raffle giveaway.

L’Occitane Level 1

Enjoy bubbly treats, signature hand massages, beauty rituals and a special gift with $65 purchase.

Madewell Level 1

Enjoy refreshments, snacks and a hair braiding bar. Receive free map tote with the purchase of $100 or more.

Max & Co. Level 2

Enjoy appetizers, music, champagne and more. Receive a free gift with purchase.

Melvita Level 1

Enjoy small bites and drinks during the evening. Receive a free travel size limited edition Rose Hand Cream with purchase.

Papyrus Level 3

Experience the new jewelry brand NIQUEA.D, a couture dress made entirely out of paper and a special surprise.

Sanrio Concourse Level

Special appearance by Hello Kitty featuring a 30 minute meet and greet and her autographed Fashion Icon. Enjoy cupcakes and receive a Red Bag of Surprises with

$100 purchase.

Steve Madden Level 3

Receive a free studded iPad case with purchase.

Tourneau Level 1

Tourneau and Project (RED)™ are working together to help deliver an AIDS free generation. When shoppers purchase a special edition (PRODUCT) RED™ TNY Watch, Tourneau will contribute 15% of the retail price to help fight HIV/AIDS in Africa with 100% of the contributions going directly to the Global Fund.

True Religion Brand Jeans Level 3

Enjoy refreshments and gift with purchase.

Vera Bradley Level 3

Special offers.

For a full list of events at Fashion’s Night Out, see their website. 

Anyone know of any other fantastic events going on in San Francisco?